Postpartum fitness thwarted.

I miss the gym. I miss working out. I miss sweating and achy. I miss feeling good about my body. I finally went to the gym today for a tour... It was fabulous. The gym is huge and state of the art. It has all my favorite classes and 3 well equipped rooms to do them in. It has a daycare centre with sweet caregivers. It has everything I miss... Sigh.

It has a hefty price tag... Even bigger when I include Thomas. It's $25 bi-weekly PLUS daycare which is $16 bi-weekly or $5 each time. That's over $80 a month just to go the gym 3 times a week... I have $40 a month of free cash since being on Mat Leave. It doesn't balance out and I am devastated. I am feeling letdown and resentful. 

I am also feeling hopeless... How am I ever going to get this weight off??? It's cold and rainy outside which sucks for Thomas and really isn't fair, so running is out. I could try and run in the evening, when Richard is home, but by the time he is home, and settled, its dark out (and even colder). I could also workout in the evenings but that leaves Richard with Thomas every night and most nights he's tired.... Plus the best classss aren't in the evening. Why sit around all day and then cram everything into the 3 hours between Richard getting home and Thomas going to bed??

I am being a whiny brat, but I really needed this... I needed something that made me feel like myself. Something just for me, not as someone's mother or wife. Hmpf! 

I had cashews and chocolate chips for dinner... It was a delicious pity party.