Since no one reads this and it is more for my own musings... Here is a post about baby number 2.
We are working on baby #2 and so far it is way more fun than baby #1... we both feel less pressure. I am also not reading EVER website, article and magazine about the 'how-tos' of making a human being.
I don't think Richard is completely on board, but he's having a good time when he does 'board'.
It's different because I don't remember. I can't remember how it felt to get pregnant, like the firs tfew days after the deed, but before the test. How does that work? Are things happening while I go about my day?
I'm trying to be relaxed and easy going, but I will be sad everytime it doesn't work.
I know I ovulate early. I know I have probably already ovulated this cycle and its only day 12. I know I have 14 days to wait and see what's going on. I'm not anxious. I don't have the day circled on my calender. Selfishly I wish I could know before Saturday, when we're have a huge bash at our place... which I won't be drinking at - but I could be, if I knew.
It's just different this time.
I look at Thomas and swell with love. He is just a good time, but it took at least 12 months to get him there... he was not a good time for a solid 6 months. So add that to the 9 months of pregnancy and i am committing to a year and a half of suck. It's all worth it, but I remember being tired and fat. I remember being angry and nervous.
Who knows? Will this time be better? Will I be calmer?
And AND I already fell into the trap I swore I wouldn't, the excuse not to workout trap, because I don't want to wiggle the baby right out of my vagina, which I know FOR CERTAIN, can't happen.
So... I should update Fitness-esque.blogspot.com today at some point.
xo
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
One Year Check up!
Yes, its a few weeks late, but this Mummy was putting off the pain of needles for her little man.
Although after yesterday I am sure I am a bigger wimp than he is. He squawked as the needled jabbed his perfect little arm, but within 20 seconds he was laughing and smile. What a little trooper. And he is cute to boot.
I got to spend all day with Thomas yesterday and I loved every second of it. We cuddled and snuggled, played at the park and had a picnic. He is the perfect lunch date.
Thomas is still topping the charts and weighed in yesterday at 24.49 lbs. I was expected more, but that is still a big little man. His height and head size is in the 97th percentile. We're big people.
He's awesome. That's all I really snuck in to report.
He is so awesome I want more. Now.
Let's start a petition to get Daddy to make another baby... he thinks space and money are important, I say PUH-SHAW! Love is all we need.
xo
 |
| Dining on the finest crackers money can buy |
I got to spend all day with Thomas yesterday and I loved every second of it. We cuddled and snuggled, played at the park and had a picnic. He is the perfect lunch date.
 |
| playing with Mummy all day is exhausting |
Thomas is still topping the charts and weighed in yesterday at 24.49 lbs. I was expected more, but that is still a big little man. His height and head size is in the 97th percentile. We're big people.
He's awesome. That's all I really snuck in to report.
He is so awesome I want more. Now.
Let's start a petition to get Daddy to make another baby... he thinks space and money are important, I say PUH-SHAW! Love is all we need.
xo
 |
| At the park and loving it! |
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| And for fun... Thomas in his motorcycle leathers and the boots! |
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Week Two
I could happily write about Thomas and all the silliness that is him.
We had a wonderful long weekend, which only added to the confusion of today. Thomas was sure his days of the dreaded DAYCARE were over, having spent three blissful days with Mummy and Daddy and then BAM!! back to a strangers house. Good Luck little man.
I just wish I could explain life to him, the need for a pay cheque and my dream of being at home with him all day, but I can't. He just has to cry it out.
It's easiest on me. I don't have to pack him up in the morning or hand him over. I don't have to watch him reach for me as I walk away AND thank GOODNESS. I wouldn't do it. I also don't have to be the stranger receiving the screaming child. I get to be the simple hero, the one that shows up after a long day and brings him home, smothers him in kisses and tickles his little baby cheeks. He loves me in that moment, more then anyone else. I squish his little face and smooch him RIGHT ON THE LIPS.
It's a huge boost to my self-esteem, having doubts whether he loved me at all most days (my issue, not his). I didn't bond with him the way I expected. He have are little conversations that no one else understands and he lets me smooch him, like no one else. We cuddle and play... he loves me, but sometimes I forget how much; sometimes I am wrapped up in how much I love him.
Even right now as I am killing time at my desk 80km away from him I am wishing I was hanging out with him in the living room. We would be watching Phineas and Ferb, he'd probably be sitting in his ball pit with cracker hanging from his lips. He would giggle every time I would call to him to 'Come here.' Then with impatience I would ambush him and he would fall down laughing as he tried to escape, but I would smother him in kisses and that would be the end of him. We'd probably share an applesauce and then think about heading upstairs for a nap, probably making a pit-stop in the BIG bed for a little Grover time. It would probably be awesome.
I miss the little fart.
We had a wonderful long weekend, which only added to the confusion of today. Thomas was sure his days of the dreaded DAYCARE were over, having spent three blissful days with Mummy and Daddy and then BAM!! back to a strangers house. Good Luck little man.
I just wish I could explain life to him, the need for a pay cheque and my dream of being at home with him all day, but I can't. He just has to cry it out.
It's easiest on me. I don't have to pack him up in the morning or hand him over. I don't have to watch him reach for me as I walk away AND thank GOODNESS. I wouldn't do it. I also don't have to be the stranger receiving the screaming child. I get to be the simple hero, the one that shows up after a long day and brings him home, smothers him in kisses and tickles his little baby cheeks. He loves me in that moment, more then anyone else. I squish his little face and smooch him RIGHT ON THE LIPS.
It's a huge boost to my self-esteem, having doubts whether he loved me at all most days (my issue, not his). I didn't bond with him the way I expected. He have are little conversations that no one else understands and he lets me smooch him, like no one else. We cuddle and play... he loves me, but sometimes I forget how much; sometimes I am wrapped up in how much I love him.
Even right now as I am killing time at my desk 80km away from him I am wishing I was hanging out with him in the living room. We would be watching Phineas and Ferb, he'd probably be sitting in his ball pit with cracker hanging from his lips. He would giggle every time I would call to him to 'Come here.' Then with impatience I would ambush him and he would fall down laughing as he tried to escape, but I would smother him in kisses and that would be the end of him. We'd probably share an applesauce and then think about heading upstairs for a nap, probably making a pit-stop in the BIG bed for a little Grover time. It would probably be awesome.
I miss the little fart.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Day One - Real Life
It's my first day back to work... I'm clearly overwhelmed with work *eye roll*
Nothing has changed, which is comforting and I am sure the level of stress will escalate once my email/computer are at 100%. Right now I am waiting on updates and sitting patiently waiting for work. It's not such a bad thing, I am underwhelmed and relieved.
I am worried about my little man. It was his first morning without me and so far its been rough on him. Holly has sent me pictures and updates, but he's a sad little dude and I want to go rescue him RIGHT NOW. I have 29 minutes left.
Just enough time to do three months of catch up.
Thomas is ONE. My baby is a toddler.... a walking, talking personality who makes me laugh EVERY day. He's determined and lets it be known. Although his fits are short and easily rectified with something shiny, the tears still break my heart. Over the last three months he has figured out walking and my iPhone. His favorite thing is to snuggle on my lap and watch YouTube, mostly Muppets.
We had a HUGE party for him this past weekend... Richard thought I was insane trying to pull it off, but it was awesome. We hosted a intimate picnic for 60 at the park near our house. It was red and white checkers with baskets and twine. We had sandwiches, apples and death by chocolate, TWO cakes and a water fight, which was more successful than I could have imagined. Everyone had a blast, including the birthday boy who left the party exhausted and covered in blue icing.
Mummy and Daddy got Thomas more balls for his pit and a HUGE Ninja Turtle ball the same size as him to kick around at the park. Grandma and Pop(ples) got him a motorcycle and in the first 10 minutes he had it figured it. Thomas grabbed the throttle, threw his leg over and took off.
Ummm.... 3 months seems like so long, yet we did a lot of the same. Dozens of trips to the park, lots of naps and plenty of ice cream. Thomas and I bonded in a way I didn't expect. He learned how to kiss... albeit open mouthed and slobbery. He learned to dance. He figured out how to make his intentions known and he made new friends.
What a life. I am thrilled to be back at it, but I miss him SO much.
It just keeps getting better!
xoxo
Nothing has changed, which is comforting and I am sure the level of stress will escalate once my email/computer are at 100%. Right now I am waiting on updates and sitting patiently waiting for work. It's not such a bad thing, I am underwhelmed and relieved.
I am worried about my little man. It was his first morning without me and so far its been rough on him. Holly has sent me pictures and updates, but he's a sad little dude and I want to go rescue him RIGHT NOW. I have 29 minutes left.
Just enough time to do three months of catch up.
Thomas is ONE. My baby is a toddler.... a walking, talking personality who makes me laugh EVERY day. He's determined and lets it be known. Although his fits are short and easily rectified with something shiny, the tears still break my heart. Over the last three months he has figured out walking and my iPhone. His favorite thing is to snuggle on my lap and watch YouTube, mostly Muppets.
We had a HUGE party for him this past weekend... Richard thought I was insane trying to pull it off, but it was awesome. We hosted a intimate picnic for 60 at the park near our house. It was red and white checkers with baskets and twine. We had sandwiches, apples and death by chocolate, TWO cakes and a water fight, which was more successful than I could have imagined. Everyone had a blast, including the birthday boy who left the party exhausted and covered in blue icing.
Mummy and Daddy got Thomas more balls for his pit and a HUGE Ninja Turtle ball the same size as him to kick around at the park. Grandma and Pop(ples) got him a motorcycle and in the first 10 minutes he had it figured it. Thomas grabbed the throttle, threw his leg over and took off.
Ummm.... 3 months seems like so long, yet we did a lot of the same. Dozens of trips to the park, lots of naps and plenty of ice cream. Thomas and I bonded in a way I didn't expect. He learned how to kiss... albeit open mouthed and slobbery. He learned to dance. He figured out how to make his intentions known and he made new friends.
What a life. I am thrilled to be back at it, but I miss him SO much.
It just keeps getting better!
xoxo
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
9 months and 21lbs
I am so completely in love. I can be honest and say it took a long time to fall in love with my little ball of goo. I knew I was supposed to love him, protect him and care for him, but that deep rooted connection wasn't there. It was scary, sad and hard to admit. How could I not love this fragile little person? This little wiggly being needed me. I did everything I was expected to do, but cried at night; afraid he felt it too, nervous he wouldn't flourish because Mummy was broken.
9 months later he is my everything not because he is supposed to be, but because he is. My world is wrapped up in him and I can happily admit, his world is me. He cries for me, snuggles me and loves me more then anyone else. I'm always his first choice... a feeling I am still getting used to.
We have inside jokes and secret conversations. We laugh for no reason and cuddle every night.
I can't even express how his unconditional love has changed me... It's new and wonderful and something I never expected.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
1st birthday parties!
Thomas had another birthday party this weekend, my little man is a social butterfly!
We loves kids, puts on the silly hat and cries to leave before the cake comes out.
But he looks good doing it!
Love you buddy!
Ps. This was our second birthday at a rented hall, is that a thing??? Should I start planning (and saving) now for Thomas's first birthday... In 6 months??
Pps... Here is the first 1st birthday party...
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